Posted by
Ender on Tuesday, April 28, 2009 6:37:05 PM
Hat tip to
Jesse "The Mind" Norman for sparking this idea off for me.
From what I've seen, I'm a youngling compared to many, possibly most here: I was raised in the '80s. When I saw on Jesse Norman's blog the phrase 'Master of the Universe', my mind jumped to the old 'He-Man' cartoon...which leads me to the below - my own take, probably only slightly tweaked from reality, of how the presidential election was -really- won. [Warning Note! In order to fit everything together, I kind of had to make Obama the 'hero' of the scenario...sorry.] Not really anything new here, just something I hope a few of you find amusing.
Everyone looked on as the SorSoros held up the device he had pulled from the pedestal.
"This is the Remote of Power, an ancient relic. With it, Prince Obama, I believe you will have the power to defeat the enemy who threatens us all."
The prince knelt before the SorSoros, holding his hands upwards. "If you feel me worthy to wield it, I would be honored to do so."
"Go forth, then, my prince." The SorSoros gently placed the artifact in Prince Obama's hands. "Go forth and defeat all who oppose us."
Prince Obama stood, glancing at his lady, who gave a tight smile. "They don't know what they're in for," she said. "Let's see this thing in action."
Carefully, Prince Obama took the Remote of Power in his right hand, positioning it until it felt proper in his grip. Then, following the SorSoros's instructions, he raised his hand toward the sky, pressed the trigger button, and began the invocation, his voice taking on an echoing quality as he did so.
"By the power of ACORN!"
A brilliant golden light played over Prince Obama. As it cloaked his form, traces of ruby, sapphire, and emerald danced around him, drawing the eyes of those watching. Even the servants of Castle ACORN, normally heedless of anything save their own assigned tasks, were drawn in by the image before them. Only the SorSoros stood, unaffected, by the display. After several minutes, the light began to dim, although the rainbow-like glints seemed to sparkle even brighter. As this happened, the prince drew his hand down, bringing it to where he could grasp the other end of the precious artifact with his left hand. This done, Prince Obama finished the invocation as he had been taught.
"I have the POWER!"
The prince carefully secured the Remote of Power to his belt, then turned to face everyone else. "Well," he asked, "does anyone see any changes?"
Over half of the servants of Castle ACORN shivered or squealed in rapturous glee at the chime-like sound of Prince Obama's voice. Gatekeeper Olbermann fainted on the spot, a beatific expression on his face. At this, the SorSoros nodded. "Yes, I believe you'll do nicely," he said.